For most children, their first experience with grief comes with the death of a beloved family pet. When Zoe the eight-week old puppy dies of parvovirus or Tweety the budgie stops singing his morning song, a child experiences profound and lasting loss for the first time in their young lives.
Children want and need to know about death, yet we are often reluctant ? even squeamish ? when talking about it. Conversations with kids about death can be extremely difficult, but they are so important. Helping children understand the death of their pet may arm them with the skills they need to cope and grieve effectively when someone they love dies. Everyone experiences a sense of shock when death occurs, and this is especially true for children. They have no prior experience, and usually no information to help them comprehend what “dead forever” means.
Death and grief are extremely difficult human emotions, therefore, there is no right or wrong way to deal with death. As adults, our reactions to death are a product of societal attitudes and the beliefs and culture of the family from which we came.
When a family member dies, children express their grief differently depending on their age. An infant may become irritable and fussy. A pre-schooler lives in a magical world, so death isn?t permanent for them. They may alternate between seeing death as temporary and reversible to understanding that death is forever. Children ages six to 12 have a more mature understanding of death and teenagers have an adult understanding of death, but has fewer coping skills.
Let?s look at Justin?s first experience with death:
Justin?s is 5 years old and lives with his mom and dad and brand new sister Sarah. One morning, Justin wakes up to mom?s tears and runs to Sarah?s room to find mommy and daddy crying. Daddy ushers Justin out of the room and tells him quietly that Sarah isn?t going to wake up today.
Justin is scared and confused. Justin has never seen Daddy cry. Dad is his hero. He makes Justin feel safe. What could be so horrible that it would make Daddy cry? Daddy spends the morning talking to Justin while mom and Grandma Jane go in and out of the house, crying and Sarah is taken away by strange people that Justin does not know.
After lunch, Justin goes to Sarah?s room to look for her. They always take an afternoon nap together. But Sarah isn?t there. ?When will Sarah be home?? Justin asks his daddy. Daddy holds Justin as he tells him ?Sarah won?t be coming home, honey, Sarah has died. She stopped breathing and her heart stopped beating. We?re all so very sad. Why don?t we sit together and remember some of the funny things she used to do.? Justin turns his blue eyes to look at Daddy ?No, it?s okay Daddy. She?ll be home later.?
As the days go on from the time of Sarah?s death, mom and dad are caught up in funeral preparations and Justin continues in his insistence that his sister will come home. As family gathers and the days get closer to the services his parents remain with growing concern for his belief.
Parents should be aware of normal childhood responses to a death in the family. It is normal during the weeks following the death for some children to feel immediate grief or persist in the belief that the family member is still alive. But long-term denial of the death or avoidance of grief is unhealthy and can later surface in more severe problems. Once children accept the death, they are likely to display their feelings of sadness on and off over a long period of time, and often at unexpected moments. The surviving relatives should spend as much time as possible with the child, making it clear that the child has permission to show his or her feelings openly or freely.
Parents with children experiencing grief should: ? Provide age-appropriate information regarding the loss ? Give the child space for them to emote. (Encouragement to discuss his or her innermost fantasies, fears, thoughts, and feelings.) ? Be aware of their own emotional availability: Your child needs someone who will listen. Reach our for support from others if you are unable to provide that support to your child at this time.
Have you thought about teaching your child swimming yourself? Here are Pros & Cons to consider before making this decision.
I am a very strong proponent of structured group swim lessons. I do not have children myself, but have encouraged all my siblings & friends to enroll their children in swim lessons. I have had my own nieces & nephews in my group lessons and have never given any private lessons. With this said I do understand that only parents know what is best for their child, so I will give the pros & cons of both sides of this question & leave it to you to decide what is best.
Structured swim lessons
Authoritative figure that the child will listen to
Group setting – child not always center of attention
Good “peer pressure”
Safe Setting with Trained Guards
Health Issues – Allergic to chlorine/ beach water
Teaching Swim Lesson Yourself
Great Existing Relationship for Teacher/Student
Knowledge of Child’s Learning Methods
Child too Comfortable/ May Not Listen
Lacking Water Site & Teaching Tools
Inexperience in Teaching Swimming
I hope the info above helps you weigh your swim lessons options for your child. Though it can be difficult to “unteach” some learned swim skills there is always the option of enrolling your child in lessons if your individual instruction did not produce the desired results. No matter which decision you make, having your child learning to swim is always a Win – Win situation.
Andy Murray is the founder of http://www.SwimLessonInfo.com , as well as a Red Cross certified swim instructor. He has been teaching swim lessons for 15 years and coaching youth swim team for more then 5 years.
for those of you who love to make your baby’s own meals or do a lot of home cooking here are 5 meal ideas for the Winter weather to keep you all warm and less hungry.
- pea and ham soup with crusty home made bread rolls add cooked potatoes to thicken soup too.
- rich strew use Atora suet light to make low fat dumplings with stewing beef, carrots and suede, parsnips add 2 beef oxo cubes thicken with cornflour and serve with jacket potatoes.
- pasta with cooked broccoli and cauliflower and cheese sauce mix all together and serve with breadcrumbs on top in a pie dish.
- fish pie add cod pieces, prawns salmon pieces add a parsley sauce mix,with mashed potatoes on top serve with mixed vegetables.
- bish bash bosh chicken ,add cooked chicken, sweetcorn, mushrooms with a tin of mushroom or use chicken soup put in a pie dish add a pastry crust bake in oven serve with potatoe wedges.
Children have amazing and wild imaginations. The next time you hear “I’m bored in the Winter time” or “What can we do”, give them a few household items, or let them make their own and watch them expand into endless hours of fun and entertainment. The following are just a few ideas to get the fun started and be sure to use your imagination too!
—>Make an Obstacle Course Obstacle courses can be a lot of fun, spark creativity and also be great exercise for the little ones. These can be set up in and out of doors. Pillows, chairs, tires and stools are just a couple of things that can be used to be climbed, jumped and skipped over, through, around and under. Time each child as they scramble their way through and have a race. Best thing about these is that once they’ve done everything they can think of with the first one, it can be torn down and set up again another way. Have each child take turns in choosing the way it’s set back up.
—>Let’s Play Dress Up Don’t give away all those old shoes, shirts, pants, hats, gloves and costume jewelry! Set aside a special drawer or box for these item to play dress up. Have children act out their favorite play, television show or put on a fashion show. You’d be surprised exactly how cute she really looks in your old high school prom gown. Be sure to take snap shots or keep the video camera rolling!
—>Kid’s Cafe set up a small table and let the children play restaurant. Have children make up or use play money and menus. Children that can’t write yet can draw the food items on the menus. Give them some paper plates, cups, plastic silverware, a little notebook and they’re open for business. Take turns being waiter, customer and busboy (or girl ).
—>Go Camping This too can be played in or out of doors and the possibilities are endless. If you have a smaller pop-up tent, it can be set up in the living room. If you’re taking this activity outdoors, you can hang an old sheet over a clothesline securing with rocks at the bottom. Have children draw or cut out windows if you’re using an old sheet. (Remember to keep for the next camping trip.) Set up some lawn chairs around your faux fire and tell stories, sing songs, make smores in the microwave or any other favorite camping activity. Go all the way and sleep there tonight!
Children who witnesses domestic violence against his or her parent is a victim of domestic violence as well. Approximately five million children witness domestic violence in their homes each year. A child may be a witness to his or her parent being emotionally abused, physically abused, economically abused and/or even sexually abused.
No matter how hard a parent tries to shield their child from the abuse he or she receives from an abusive partner, the child usually knows what is occurring. Even a young infant can tune into the tension and emotional feelings of his or her mother.
Most children will experience problems if they live in a violent home and witness a parent being abused. Children who witness abuse are more inclined to have behavior and emotional problems. Some children will develop psychosomatic disorders. This may include bed-wetting, school problems, night terrors, stuttering, excessive fear and crying. Children may experience depression, suicidal behaviors and phobias if they are kept in a violent household.
Older children may blame themselves for the abuse a parent receives. Older children may even step into the abuse to direct the attention onto themselves and off of the battered parent. There is a great risk that children who witness abuse may grow up thinking that violence is the only means to resolve emotional and relationship conflicts. Boys who grow up in an abusive home are more likely to batter their future partners versus boys who grow up in a nonviolent home. Children who have witnessed abuse to a parent are also more likely to drink alcohol and abuse drugs.
Children who live in a domestically violent home will suffer some form of neglect, be it physical or emotional. It isn’t always just the mother who is abused, but the children may be abused as well. Many adults who were abused when they were children report that witnessing the abuse to their mother was harder for them to deal with then the abuse they personally received.
Early Infant pregnancy loss information
this blog post contains information about infant loss if it is likely to cause any upset please press your back button now.
Over the last few weeks we have been adding some new valuable information on tiny infant loss such as baby funeral planning, baby bereavement card poems causes of an infant fetal demises etc.There is a lot of information covered ,useful facts including what happens if you have a miscarriage at home and the UK laws on burying a premature baby etc. and more related topics will be covered over the next few weeks
you can also type in the search box the baby bereavement website as an alternative way to see other information such as support groups for infant loss,funeral songs ideas list UK funeral directors and lots more.main website address is http://baby-burial-gowns.co.uk
Baby Maternity Unit for poorly premature babies
as today is premature baby awareness day we thought you may like to see some preemie babies and how very tiny they are,if the are delivered early before 37 weeks which is classed as premature. you can follow our Pinterest boards as we regularly add photos of premature babies born at 22-24 weeks 25-28 weeks 29-30 weeks -32-35 weeks 35-37 weeks gestation and there are also a lot of contact sites you can add yourself you to have a premature baby.
what a nuisance babies at play 0 – 6 months baby toys
How many teddies can you pile up into a baby’s bedroom?
well if you think of a family member buying a present a cute teddy is often the first thing that comes to mind when deciding what toys to buy the new baby. before long baby can have tons all collecting dust that often can be a problem with some babies getting asthma from a very young age. So what other baby toys can you buy for babies around the 0-6 months age.
well here are a few pointers these suggestions will be good for encouraging baby development milestones , appropriate age of learning toys,toys that wont get thrown away due to lost pieces or a toys that are good value without being a waste of money.
- teething rings,small rattles that a baby can learn to grasp in the hand, from around 4 months ,mouthing takes place too when a child will put anything to its mouth to explore the texture, do not discourage this behavior its natural part of development unless another child as given a dangerous item for the baby to hold toddlers especially.
- Brightly coloured pram toys that stretch across the pram with various sounds such as musical,squeaks,rattles,crinkle sounds.
- musical toys for over babies cot that pull to activate music,cot mobiles.
2 methods one is letting baby tell you when it needs moving onto solids for example instead of weaning at 4 months wait until baby seems really hungry and ready to move on. do not leave weaning baby way after 6 months or baby will have problems weaning from liquid-semi liquid to lumpy foods in the long term.
the other method of baby lead weaning is waiting until baby is 6 months old and giving huge pieces of food direct to eat such as a pork chop, piece ,half a banana a chunky crust of bread to chomp on. this method cuts out the mush type foods completley.
personally i think the first method is best as i have seen too many babies at 9-12 months choke of chunks of raw apple carrot etc.
- dear Cheeky chums my newborn baby’s poo was dark brown at birth now its yellow the week after i’m breastfeeding is this normal? yes the first poop that a baby has is called meconium.then it changes colour as milk is introduced as a first food so not to worry.
- Dear Cheeky chums my boy friend wants to know when can our 3 month baby have solid foods such as chips and burgers. babies at birth have a sucking reflex then as they get used to using their muscles for swallowing the first solid foods have to be slightly thicker than milk to start with.A baby has to learn the new skills of sucking from a spoon,trying different tastes and introducing healthy food items to baby’s diet ,then gradually moving on to semi liquidized baby foods then moving on to tiny lumps with in the first year.You’ll also find baby around 9 months will love to hold and munch on a bananas or bread chunks. avoid giving babies fatty food items such as burgers and chips.
- why can’t a baby walk at 6 months? Babies have to develop strong muscle tones and other large motor skills in order to progress from sitting,standing walking with furniture then onto walking itself.it takes a few months grow, and develop,by introducing healthy foods, stimulation through play,rest and sleep and a nurtured environment for baby to reach any baby milestone. leave a baby in a cot or playpen to play all day and baby will learn nothing, become weak ,fail to thrive so to speak and then be delayed with milestones that should come on during the first year.
Dear Cheeky Chums my friend lost her baby in pregnancy at 24 weeks and my mum said i should buy a baby memorial what is it and should I not be buying it for the mum I’m confused ?
First of all you can send mum a bereavement card acknowledging the loss of her baby in memory of baby. depending where baby is buried or cremated and final laid to rest determines what baby memorial gift you want to buy. it could be a toy windmill that blows naturally in the wind for the graveside if its privately owned but sometimes a communal grave that hospitals bury all the little ones together in, do not have the space for individual memorial items to be placed there.
you could buy mum some memorial jewelry with little feet on or a heart shaped locket necklace, there are many website that offer memorial gifts like this online.
and for the whole family why not write poem and choose an appropriate frame that can be kept on a fireplace or beside cabinet for a more personal memorial gift.
today is infant loss awareness day this week we have been answering your questions today we look at what you baby can wear that as sadly passed away born under 24 weeks into pregnancy.
Ordering babies full term clothes, no problem ! lots of cute clothes that fit .When it comes to tiny babies you will find it a struggle for babies under 24 weeks. dolls clothes are not comfortable or suitable for a baby burial you may get free knitted donations given but a mum would still prefer her baby to be dressed in proper baby clothes.
there is a suitable alternative clothes shop that specializes in the very tiny sizes and for babies born under 24 weeks .In fact the range in the baby bereavement section or baby clothes increases regularly . They have all you need to dress baby from top to toe including babygrows baby gowns, knitted layette sets, nappies and little pouches for the smallest baby too fragile for dressing (born under 18 weeks). see the main baby bereavement department here
5 gift ideas that will mean a lot to the grieving parents after their baby died due to being born stillborn.
- The Great North Museum: Hancock’s hugely popular Butterfly Wall fundraising campaign has been re-launched. The first campaign,
A beautiful butterfly would make a unique and thoughtful gift for a family member or friend. Why not mark a special occasion by adding to our growing kaleidoscope of butterflies? Sponsoring a butterfly will also help to support activities for children and young people at the Great North Museum: Hancock. You will receive a special Gift Card and the butterflies themselves will be on display at the Great North Museum: Hancock
If you would like to support this incredibly important aspect of our work and include your name (or the name of someone you love) on our beautiful Butterfly Wall please make a donation today! Our suggested donation is £25 or more*.
contact us on (0191) 277 2196 or email firstname.lastname@example.org. We would be delighted to speak to you.
- make a donation in memory of baby or raise funds directly with the families local SANDS group.
- Buy some artificial flowers for the baby’s graveside rather than fresh ones which don’t last long.
- Ask the local maternity department what item can you buy for the bereavement room for example a relaxing candle with in memory of baby’s name written on the side .or relaxing colours fresh sheets for a lady’s bed.
- the charity we are working with for 2013-2014 is Bear for an Angel why not donate a bear in memory of baby’s name for a child that has died up the age of 16 .
Baby Loss Aware Miscarriages and fetal demise
this week is baby loss awareness week up to the 15th of October.this weeks blog posts will answer some of the worrying questions associated with infant loss.
If you find it too upsetting please press your back button now.
Topics : will cover
- is it the law to have abortion if you don’t want one if baby has been diagnosed with a poor outcome prognosis.
- what gift ideas to buy for a baby funeral?
- looking at infant funeral thankyou notes what to put.
- death certificates for a miscarriage.
- infant baby bereavement clothes what to buy?
check back everyday as we cover each one of the lists.
infant pillow support mum + baby gets comfortable
what can you use an infant support pillow for?
important fact first …NOT for babies under 1 year old at nap time or bedtime for sleeping.
- you can use a premature baby infant support pillow in an incubator.
- use an infant support pillow for a baby learning to support the head in a prone position to develop good muscle tone.
- use a baby support pillow in the back of a high chair when baby learning to sit up.
- use an infant support pillow for family photographs as props and to position baby better.
- great for playtime on the floor with toys around and an infant support pillow comes in all shapes and sizes.
- mums can feel comfortable breastfeeding baby surrounded by an infant support pillow too.
Definition of self-esteem
The concept of self-esteem is based on our ability to think well about ourselves and to cope with what life has in store for us. Self-esteem is focused on whether we feel we are worthy and whether we feel we have a right to be who we are and to value who we are without being constantly criticised for who we are. The value we place on ourselves is critical to our sense of self worth.
Building self-esteem in your son is essential to him taking his place in this society as a valued member of this society, able to contribute meaningfully, effortlessly and willingly.
With so many pressures visited on our sons from a range of quarters it’s essential that they are encouraged to have minds of their own and to act on what they know to be right. For some, the idea of rightness, right thinking and right acting may be an old fashioned concept and yet I maintain it’s at the heart of building high self-esteem.
Central to the theme of rightness is acting for the good of all to the best of our abilities. These are high ideals I know and here are seven great steps to help moms engender this way of thinking in their sons (much of this is of course applicable to daughters as well).
1. Praise often, criticise rarely, if ever
With praise so many things are possible. Sons really get the impression they can do anything when they are praised and shown how to succeed. Have you noticed how joyous children are when they are really celebrated and told `well done’, `good boy’, `you can do it – brilliant’ and then how they wilt under scathing criticism – `bad boy’, `you’re useless’, `you’re rubbish and a waste of space’, `you are just like your father, you won’t amount to anything’.
Both ways are self-fulfilling prophecies – if you tell your son often enough that he is a waste of space and will amount to nothing good, then he will live down to that expectation. If on the other hand you tell him how great he is then he is more likely to live up to those expectations. I know these are quite simplistic observations of more complex ideas about the way we behave and yet I hope I’ve put across the message about the importance of praise, praise and even more praise.
Take every opportunity to let your son know when he is doing things well, no matter how small it is, no matter if you feel he should be doing it anyway. The more praise the better.
Criticism diminishes the soul. It makes us feel bad about ourselves. It makes us, even adults feel unworthy and not good enough. Imagine how your son would feel if he’s constantly criticised. A son that is constantly criticised has the ability to be a first rate bully. We know for the most part that bullies have low self-esteem and continued criticism helps to lead to a poor self-image.
I am not suggesting that you shouldn’t tell your son when he has done something wrong. Of course there is a place for this. The question is; how is this done? It can be done in a way that keeps their self-esteem intact. That is tactfully letting them know that their behaviour isn’t appropriate, whilst at the same time telling them know how you would like them to behave instead. Sit and talk to your son and find out how he feels about what you have said to him, this will help him to maintain his sense of self, his sense of wellbeing because he is being treated like he matters.
Praise your son early, often and throughout his life and just watch his face light up.
I sing a song to my son every night at the point of putting him to bed, with the words, `you are so beautiful to me, can’t you see, you are so beautiful to me’, my beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy’ he loves it and just watching his face light up at `our’ song is a wonder.
Some `to do’ ideas
* Constantly look out for things your son is doing well and let him know how good he is and how much you love him.
* Tell him some of the things that you like about him specifically.
* Find out some of the things that he likes about himself and that he feels he’s good at.
2. Help to ensure your son understands and knows the power of his own mind (rather than bowing to peer pressure) The pressure is on boys and young men to conform to peer pressure, to follow the pack rather than taking mastery of their own mind.
What makes the difference between a follower and a leader?
A follower is someone who hasn’t a mind of their own, is insecure, rarely makes decisions, doesn’t take responsibility for their own actions and doesn’t respect themselves or others. A leader on the other hand is the opposite of all of these.
Ensuring your son understands the power of using his own mind is really important and it is necessary to nurture this at a young age.
Some of the things that will help have already been mentioned. To help your son to feel he is loved, this needs to be demonstrated to him every day through loving words and action, `I love you’ and a hug goes a very long way, particularly when done consistently. Allow your son to make age appropriate decisions. Not all decisions need to be in the hands of parents – so what if he wants to choose what pyjama’s he wears to bed tonight – that’s fine, let him make that decision. Decision making becomes easier the more we do it.
Let him know that all actions have consequences – if he chooses to behave well in school there is a consequence, usually a reward for that. If he chooses to behave poorly at school there is a consequence for that too, usually some form of punishment. He needs to know he has choices and that he will take responsibility for those choices throughout his life. Providing him with a loving, nurturing foundation will help him to make some of the more appropriate choices. I have a saying that I use with my son which is, `stop yourself’. The reason I use this expression is really to give him an insight at a very early stage that he is responsible for stopping or initiating appropriate action in his life.
Some `to do’ ideas
* Talk with your son about the peer pressure he faces in this society and how he feels about what should be done about it. This will support him to think through some strategies for himself if he feels under pressure.
* Engage in role play activities that help your son work through the alternatives.
2. Give age appropriate tasks
Instilling in your son a sense of responsibility at a very early age will help him to take responsibility later in life. Simple things such as taking the potty to the bathroom, setting the table, washing up, helping with the cooking, emptying the trash etc. helps to let him know life is about being responsible and that being responsible is actually quite easy and is managed one task at a time.
I know some of us as mothers think that we can get things done more quickly if we do it ourselves. And that may be partly true in the short term. In the medium and long term however if we teach our son age appropriate tasks then life becomes a lot easier and we teach them to take responsibility for themselves and their life at the same time.
Some simple and responsible tasks include, keeping their bedroom tidy, placing their dirty clothes in the linen basket, placing clothes in the washing machine. If some of these tasks are introduced early enough the children actual enjoy `helping’. I know as our sons get older `other’ incentives might need to be employed – seeing friends, going on outings, money, negotiations etc.
Some `to do’ ideas
* Every couple of days, give your son a new task to do – something that is a little more stretching than the previous task.
* Notice when you are getting a little impatient with the time he is taking to do the task – allow him that time and you get on with something else – this will be of great benefit to you in the long run.
3. Participate in games that build high self-esteem
Building self-esteem doesn’t always come easy, particularly if it wasn’t started at a very young age.
If you are able to, it would be great to get your son to sign up to societies/groups like, martial arts, boy scouts, youth clubs, mentor programmes and outward bound courses. These are great building blocks for increasing self-esteem. Here they get to take part in individual and group activities that help to stretch them beyond where they are.
These activities will help to instil a strong sense of self and achievement. The belief this will to give your son in himself really is the bedrock from which self-esteem springs.
One of the great things we can do as moms is to sometimes just get out of the way of our sons and watch them soar. Let’s be careful not to pass our own fears on to them, be brave enough to let them find their own level – to fall down and pick themselves up again.
In addition, games are a great way to support boys to build self-esteem……….
Here are some `to do’ game ideas to practice with your son:
* Boys are good at…………… I am good at…………….
* With your son’s agreement sit with trusted family members and tell your son all the wonderful things you and your family love about him – the one key `rule’ here is that all comments must be positive.
* If I knew it was impossible to fail, I would…………………………..(you and your son, independently can finish the sentence)
4. Your son can make age appropriate decisions with your help
Talk to him at a very early stage about decision making and why it is important to help in living the life he wants to live. Someone once said, `at the point of your decision your destiny is shaped’ and I do believe this to be true.
Making decisions and the decisions we make have a real impact and make a huge difference to our lives.
Decision making is a natural part of growing up, imparting this in our sons at an early age helps to enable them to take decisions as they get older.
Decision making can start at a very early age – do you want milk or water? Do you want to play with this toy or that? Who do you want to baby-sit for you – this auntie or that un
Some `to do’ ideas
* Each day ask your son to make a decision, make it a decision that you believe it will be easy for him to make
* Let your son you believe he is a good decision maker and that tell him how much you value his decisions
5. Develop your own self-esteem and show your son exactly what you mean
It’s really great to lead by example. How is your self-esteem? How do you feel about yourself? Do you feel you are a worthwhile and valuable person? How do you show this to your son?
If you know your self-esteem is on the floor, maybe there is some work you could consider doing on yourself. Our sons will learn from us, they will learn from what we say, from what we do, from what we say we are going to do, from what we say and don’t do. Be in no doubt, our children really do learn from us.
Some `to do’ ideas
* Read personal development books: any by Anthony Robbins, Iyanla Vanzant, Marianne Williamson, Norman Vincent Peale, Deepak Chopra and Shakti Gawain are great starting points.
* Enrol in some personal development workshops
* Establish a women’s group with your friends * Become part of an already established women’s group
* Do something your haven’t done before
6. Get to know your son and instil in him strong personal values Let your son know what you believe in and what your mission and vision is for your family. Let him know from an early age, using age appropriate language, so that he can to develop that mission and vision and fully sign up to the values you are keen to instil in him. Help your son to be proud to be male. There are lots of great role models out there, present day and throughout history. Let him know who they are. Role models will be different for different people and there no point in necessarily pointing them out here. Find those that fit with your value structure and let your son know about these role models and tell him why you consider them to be role models. Ensure that you don’t put men down around him (or at all if you can bear to help it). Remember they hear our negative comments about men and internalise it. They can feel worthless. As we love our sons dearly, this is not what we really want to be doing. Labelling is a very powerful process, it can build self-esteem and it can shatter it. Support your son by having positive male role models around him. If you feel there aren’t any in your immediate surroundings then there are a good number of mentors. Better still; enrol him in a mentor programme. Here are some great examples of personal values: aspire to be the best you can be, dedication and commitment to all you choose to do and be, communicating respectfully, treat yourself and others well, family is important and respect the diversity in that our world offers.
Some `to do’ ideas * Draw up a list of personal values that you believe are important.
* Write up this list and place it at strategic points around your house.
* Review your personal values every six months or so and make sure you feel they are still current – you may wish to add or delete!!!!!!!!
7. Your son must know you are his safety net if he falls Your son really does need to know that if all else fails and mistakes are made (as they inevitably will); he won’t go completely crashing to the ground. Ultimately he needs to know you are there for him and will support him in whatever way you can. Hyacinth Fraser Author Live playfully, powerfully and lovingly
Hyacinth is a Master NLP Practitioner and Master Hypnotherapist. She also has a M.A. in Social Policy and Administration
In addition most recently she has started a parenting website, with a key focus on single mothers raising sons. She is a mother of a two year old son.
She has written an ebook – Discover how you can be a great single mother to your son by following these 101 strategies and tips to great parenting.
when a baby has died its the hardest type of bereavement to cope with, after researching many mums and dads feelings after a babies death here are the findings of what not to write in baby bereavement card .
- so sorry for your baby loss better luck next time
- i heard about your sad death of baby, maybe you’ll have another next year
- don’t worry you will have plenty more babies in the future
- in sympathy of the death of your baby
- so sad to hear baby died but you have to move on and forget about it
- I heard that baby died how about a nice cup of tea to get over it
- with best wises Forget that this as ever happened, you can try again for another baby next month.
you can find suitable messages for cards here
this blog post contains sad news about fetal demise death and maceration if it is likely to cause any upset please press your back button now.
Sometimes an ultra sound scan determines that baby has sadly passed away in the womb. Delivery may occur naturally in few days or the pregnancy can be induced to deliver baby sooner and prevent any infection occurring inside the womb.
You may have heard the term Maceration of a fetus invetro
Maceration is the process of tissue degeneration which begins to occur as soon as an undelivered baby dies.
You may be scared at seeing baby that has been dead a few days in the womb.The midwives are very supportive and can explain in detail what baby will look like upon delivery to aliveate any fears you may have.
For very tiny babies they will be fragile so pick an outfit that had gentle openings you can find them easily at the tiny baby bereavement department of Cheeky Chums They will deliver quite quickly too to UK addresses.
references taken from Richard M. Pauli, M.D., Ph.D.
on very rare occasions a different type of pregnancy can occur which results in loss.
Today we look at the different types of non viable pregnancies.
Complete molar pregnancy. An egg with no genetic information is fertilized by a sperm. The sperm grows on its own, but it can only become a lump of placental tissue (hence a positive pregnancy test). It cannot become a fetus. As this tissue grows, it looks like a cluster of grapes. This cluster of tissue can very rapidly fill the uterus.
Partial molar pregnancy. An egg is fertilized by two sperm. an abnormal embryo does begin to develop, it will quickly die because of the rapidly growing mass of abnormal tissue filling the uterus.
Molar pregnancy is assessed with a pelvic exam and ultrasound. The abnormal placenta mass will have a clustered, grape like appearance.
blighted ovum pregnancy
A blighted ovum means that a fertilized egg has attached itself to your uterine wall, but the embryo (baby) did not develop. Cells developed to form the placenta and the amniotic sac, but not the embryo itself.
While a positive pregnancy test detects the placenta hormones (not an actual baby), because is a blighted ovum, your body may display signs of pregnancy, and may actually sustain the growing placenta for a short time. You may not know you have a blighted ovum until an ultrasound confirms it, or you may miscarry naturally before an ultrasound is performed.
The fact that a blighted ovum does not result in a baby can be more devastating than any other kind of miscarriage.
An ectopic pregnancy is a complication of pregnancy in which the embryo implants outside the uterine cavity With rare exceptions, ectopic pregnancies are not viable. they are dangerous for the mother, since internal hemorrhage is a life-threatening complication. Most ectopic pregnancies occur in the Fallopian tube. implantation can also happen in the cervix, ovaries, and abdomen. An ectopic pregnancy is a medical emergency, and, if not treated properly, can lead to death.
In a normal pregnancy, the fertilized egg enters the uterus and settles into the uterine lining where it has plenty of room to divide and grow.
weaning baby 7 baby food ideas for babies under 8 months
in this weeks news some shop bought baby foods my not be nutrient rich as they should be with lots of sugar being added which rots baby teeth even new ones. making your own baby food is easy peasy for weaning young babies under 7 months.
here are 7 baby food ideas for weaning babies
- ground up porridge oats with bottle or breast milk use a blender make them very fine before adding a baby bottle do not make it too watery to start weaning process.
- potato and parsnip mash boil fresh veg then blend
- potato carrots and parsnip mash cook veg then mash together.
- broccoli and cauliflower cook vegetables then blend add cooked pasta as baby moves on to eat thicker solids
- mango and banana split use ripe mango blend with a banana
- apple and pear boil in a pan until fruit becomes soft
- baby rice with cooked apricot use breast milk or bottle to mix with rice then add cooked apricot
a premature baby can often be on a ventilator to help with breathing due to the immaturity of baby’s lungs. The smallest or earliest prem baby may need assistance especially for babies born under 26 weeks gestation into pregnancy.plus even babies born at 36 weeks can have assisted breathing if an infection develops, it takes some of the stress of the baby breathing unaided whist the infection can often take a hold and make them more slower to recover.
babies born premature can also have whats called as cpac you may have misheard the phrase when you are trying to google the term on the internet and often put in cpad or c pac by mistake. C pap is the correct term may be used to treat preterm infants whose lungs have not yet fully developed. For example, physicians may use CPAP to treat infants who have respiratory distress syndrome or bronchopulmonary dysplasia. In some preterm infants whose lungs haven’t fully developed, CPAP improves survival and decreases the need for steroid treatment for their lungs.
When I was raising my children, I was often told that I would spoil them if I did let them cry – if I held them a lot. Fortunately, I didn’t believe this nonsense.
You can’t spoil a child with love. Children need love as much as they need food and water. The problem is in defining love.?
We are not giving love to our children when we give them everything they want on the material level. Parents often think they are loving their children when they pile them up with all the toys or activities they desire, but what is the actual result of indulging our children in this way?
There are three big negative consequence of spoiling our children on the material level:
1) It fosters addictive behavior – filling up from the outside with things and activities rather than filling up from the inside through caring and creativity. Too many adults are addicted to spending or other activities to fill up their emptiness. If they are stressed, instead of dealing with the source of their stress – which is generally some way they are not taking care of themselves – they cover their feelings with some addictive behavior such as spending, TV, food, alcohol, and so on. When we offer our children too many toys, too many activities, too much comfort food, or allow too much TV, we are not loving them. We are training them to be addicted.
2) Often parents provide things and activities for their children while denying their own needs. It?s not loving to children to give in to their every demand, especially if it means putting yourself aside. When you constantly give in to your children and deny your own needs, children learn that it?s okay to disregard others needs and be demanding brats. Children may not learn to consider others if you do not expect them to consider you by considering yourself. They will learn to treat you the way you treat yourself, so it is not loving to your children to disregard yourself. When you disrespect yourself, you teach your children to be disrespectful.
3) One of the big issues in our society is that children learn to identify their self-worth with others? approval for how they look, how many toys they have, how expensive their clothes are. Unless parents show their children that they value them for their inner qualities – their caring, creativity, compassion, laughter, joy, passion for life – rather than for their looks, possessions and performance, children learn to attach their self-worth to other?s approval. True self-worth comes from inside, from knowing we are valuable for who we are, not for how we look or what we do. Unfortunately, our materialistic society fosters attaching self-worth and lovability to others? approval for things such as a car or a house or clothes. When we ?spoil? our children with material possessions, we foster co-dependency, which is dependency on others? approval for our sense of worth.
We can spoil our children with material things, but we can?t spoil them with love. Love is the energy of acceptance for who the child really is. Love is understanding, compassion, caring. You are loving your children when you spend time just being with them, hanging out with them, being fully present with them, really listening to them. The greatest gift you can give to your children is to value them for who they really are on the inside. This is love, and nothing material can ever replace it.
As we move into the holidays, you might want to examine the values and expectations you are imparting to your children. Perhaps instead of all the money being spent on presents for your children, the whole family could participate in buying clothing and food for those who are in need. Rather than ?spoiling? our children by giving them too much, why not enhance their self-worth by providing them opportunities to be giving, caring human beings?
About the author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?”
Know who can help you: When I was an officer I participated in something called “Safety Town”. What they did was educated very young children (ages 4 to 5) on safety matters. My role was to visit the children while in uniform; then, the instructor and myself would educate the children on how to identify a police officer. We would point out things on my uniform like my badge, radio, big belt with all sorts of stuff and the color of my uniform. The purpose was to get the children to understand what a police officer looks like and more importantly to let them know that we are there to help them if they need help.
Often times when I was on duty and having lunch in a restaurant, I would have some parent who was having a problem with their young child, say something like “If you don’t sit up straight I will go tell that police officer to arrest you”. Or, we would have parents bring there children into our police station and want us to threaten to arrest their child if they do not wear their seatbelt or for some other discipline problem the parent was having that day. Not only is this the wrong thing to do, but it is a very counter productive thing to do. What these parents are indirectly telling their children is, that the police are the boogey man and someone to be fearful of. The major problem with this is obvious; if something happens, the child will be afraid to seek out a police officer for help.
What is a stranger: It is common for parents to tell their children the danger of going with strangers. The problem is what is a stranger. What adults view as a stranger is different then what a child may view as a stranger. Instead of addressing what a stranger is, you need to address things a stranger may do and address dangerous situations your child may have to deal with. This makes it much easier for your child to understand. Below is a list of common issues your child should be made aware of.
What if an adult wants you to do something you don’t want to do? First, every child should know that he or she has a right to say “No!”. We have a tendency to tell children to obey adults. This makes them vulnerable to every adult. There are only certain adults they should obey. And you should tell them who they are. Teach your child to protect their personal space from unwanted intrusion.
What if an adult asks you to keep a secret from your mother or your father? No adult should ask a child to keep a secret from their parents. If an adult, even someone they trust like a babysitter or a relative, ever tells them to keep a secret, they should tell you immediately. Molesters depend on the fact that a child will keep their secret.
Defining a stranger Children should know that a stranger is any adult they don’t know well. That doesn’t mean they’re bad. It just means they haven’t earned your trust yet. Even someone they see every day, like a neighbor, is a stranger if they don’t know them well.
What if a stranger wants you to come to his car or house? If a stranger pulls over and asks for help or wants to show you something in his car, don’t go to the car. Stand back and be ready to run. You should explain that while it’s OK for a child to ask a grownup for help, grownups shouldn’t ask children for help. They should be asking other grownups. Abductors will use many lures to draw children to them: * They ask for help, like directions for finding a pet. * They seduce children with gifts, candy, money or jobs. * They make threats. * They pretend to be authority figures, like police and clergy. * They say its an emergency. “Your parents are hurt. I’ll take you to the hospital.” What do you do if a stranger says he’s come to pick you up? For the safety of your child, you should have a secret code word that just the family members know. If you ever send someone to pick up your child, give them the code word. Your child should not go near the car unless the stranger knows the secret word.
What do you do if you think that someone is following you? Don’t be alone. Immediately run to a friend’s house or the nearest store and tell them. What if a stranger ever threatens you or tries to grab you? Shout “HELP” and “I don’t know you” and “call 911″. And get away fast. Make a big scene so people will come. Carry and use a personal attack alarm. Most abductors and molesters will run away if their victim fights and attracts attention with noise.
What if you’re home alone and someone calls for your mother or father? A child should never tell anyone they’re home alone. Just tell them “My parents can’t come to the phone right now. I’ll take a message.” And never open the door to any stranger.
What if you get separated while you are shopping or in another public place? Whenever you go shopping, set up a meeting place. If you get separated, don’t search for each other. Immediately go to the meeting place. Or ask a police officer, guard, or employee for assistance.
Encourage children to walk and play together, to watch out for each other. Young children should not be out alone, especially in the evening.
Explain that if they’re ever lost or abducted that you will look for them until you find them. No matter what. This is critical. Most abducted children are told by the abductors that their parents don’t want them anymore. If they believe it, they have no place else to go.
Know the basics: Another thing that we did at “Safety Town” was to make sure the children memorized the following: * Their first and last name * Their age * Their street address * Their full telephone number with area code * Their parent’s first and last name(s) This information is very important and not very hard for even a young child to remember as long as someone helps them. It would be a good idea to make it a daily practice of having your child repeat the above listed information to you on a daily basis, that way they should get it memorized pretty quickly.
There are more dangers then just strangers: Another thing that was addressed in “Safety Town” was letting the children understand what dangerous things they might find and what to do. Items such as guns, knives, syringe needles etc…, which they may unfortunately find in parks or even school playgrounds.
It is never defined what is exactly meant by mild shampoo. It can be deduced from common sense that the shampoo that is made for child and contains gentle detergent should be the choice. Apart from shampoo, oils also can be used as a natural remedy for cradle cap.
Any type of oil, vegetable or baby oil, can be used in large quantity on cradle cap affected area and left for some hours. Then the greasy scales can be brushed away with something very soft. A brush, tooth brush or anything of this sort can be used for this purpose. But this should be done carefully so that the area does not get affected further.
The Addam has extensive knowledge on dermatology, especially on cradle cap. His articles are informative and beneficent for those who are concerned with treatment of skin disease.
Do you have a talented baby or toddler? how do they come on in leaps and bounds as babies?
By their surroundings influences,input from parents peers and family members too.
A baby and toddler brains soak up information so its important to give your child as much input and varied experiences as possible before the age of 3.
if you leave them in a pram all day, stuck in a playpen to play alone whilst you watch telly, then your baby Will be missing out not only on fun, but valuable learning experiences to help them develop.
watch this baby toddler as she sits in the car with her daddy , you can tell by a repeated feature being played in the car she has now learnt a lot of the words off the song. if you listen carefully to the full video watch as she waits for the next part to join in .you will cry tear of joy just to watch this amazing baby Ella sing along to Elvis Presley. CLICK HERE TO SEE IT NOW
2.PROTECT head from direct heat by wearing a legionnaire style sun hat, mop hat or hat with a large surface area.
3.Do not overdress your baby during hot weather rather than put one thick layer on i.e. thick jumper, use several thin layers you can take on and off throughout the day.
4.Your child will benefit from wearing cool loose clothing made from cotton and light fibres. Light colours reflect the heat from the sun. Dark colours attract the suns heat.
5.DO NOT leave a baby or child out the pram in the sunshine without a sunshade or canopy.
6.Avoid parking a pram in direct sunlight try a shaded area.
7.GIVE EXTRA fluids, throughout the day. Fizzy pop can even cause dehydration try water or diluted unsweeted juice in a cup not a bottle. Instead.
8.AVOID long spells in the hot sun it can lead to HEAT EXHAUSTION and dehydration.
9.Avoid hard labour in the garden during very hot weather don’t be tempted to start digging the garden with help from the children today you seem ok tomorrow you will become ill due to sun stroke or heat exhaustion.
With the holidays quickly approaching, it’s likely that you’ll have some unscheduled ‘down-time’ with your child where you don’t have anything actually planned. Just because you don’t have any planned activities with your child doesn’t mean that they have to languish on the couch in boredom. Take a look at these quick and easy anytime activities.
1. Make Paper Stuff: It doesn’t take a lot of work or planning for children to create great paper crafts. You can simply make a lot of paper supplies available and let them go to town. Provide paper plates, construction paper, scissors, markers, crayons, glue, stamps, or stickers and let them make their own creations.
2. Paint Something: Kids generally love anything that has to do with painting. You could give them some finger paints and paper, provide water colors, or even let them paint up some scraps of wood or rocks. When given a choice between painting or carving their pumpkins each year, my kids always choose painting… kids LOVE to paint!
3. Pound Some Clay: There’s just something about manipulating modeling clay that kids find appealing (grownups too!). Give you child a couple of cans of playdough or make up a batch of salt dough and they’ll have a ball. Here’s an idea… make some salt dough, create the figures, dry them out in the oven, and then paint them to combine painting and modeling!
4. Have A Puppet Show: You can make puppets out of just about anything you have lying around the house… recycled bottles, wooden or plastic spoons, paper bags, craft sticks, etc. all work as a good base, then add paper, felt, yarn, wiggle eyes, or other objects to make the puppet. Once the puppets are done, the back of the couch, a table, or even an old box provides a great puppet theater.
5. Play Dress-Up: Children love nothing better than dressing up and pretending to be someone else. We keep all our old Halloween costumes in our dress-up box, but you could also let the kids dress up in old clothes that you’re going to throw out anyway. An impromptu game of dress-up is always a fun activity.
6. Outside Drawing: Give the kids a bucket of sidewalk chalk, turn them loose outside, and they’ll play for hours drawing on the sidewalks, driveway, and just about anything else.
7. Make Contraptions: Older children will really love the idea of making inventions out of recyclable materials. You’ll need recycled toilet paper tubes, paper towel tubes, wrapping paper tubes, plastic bottles, and other appropriate recyclables along with some tape, scissors, and marbles. Tape the tubes together to make a long runway that starts at some high point (like a chair) and eventually ends at the floor. When complete, roll the marbles through the tubes to test your contraption. You child may even think of other types of contraptions based on this idea.
8. Nature Walks: This may seem silly, but your kids will love spending time with you doing this… all you have to do is take your child for a stroll in your neighborhood or at a park. Spend time talking about things you observe as you walk and take your time. When you’re done you could write about what you saw, draw pictures, collect found objects and make an art piece. Don’t forget to bundle up in inclement weather.
9. Paper Airplanes: Gather up a pile of paper and make paper airplanes with your child. Take turns flying them and test out which techniques work the best. You could even take turns flying them off a balcony or deck to really add to the experience. Better yet, pre-purchase a book of directions for making paper airplanes and work your way through the book together.
10. Create An Obstacle Course: This idea may be a little messy, but your kids will love it. Create an obstacle course, inside or outside, using objects around the house, then take turns navigating the course for time. You could crawl under tables, over chairs, around objects, etc. all the way to the finishing line.
In the first year babies in the UK are offered vaccinations against some of the dangerous diseases out there.diphtheria, tetanus, whooping cough, polio and Hib are the first ones given. in the past children queued up for ages with their parents outside health centers as new vaccines became available on the market. here is a list of some of the vaccinations given with a brief history when they were introduced.
Diphtheria vaccinations began in 1940, pertussis in 1950s, BCG in 1953, polio in 1958, tetanus in 1961, measles in 1968, rubella in 1970, measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) in 1988, meningitis C (MenC) in 1999 and pneumococcus in 2006. In 2008 human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccines introduced into the childhood vaccination schedule. Rotavirus and shingles inoculations were added to the programme quite recently in 2013.
so does it hurt babies having a vaccination ?
the first one maybe not as the baby doesn’t really understand whats happening but the next time baby will cry as it becomes aware of the needle pain.As a parent you want to cry for them as you know its for the best but don’t like to see them upset.
Some babies don’t tolerate vaccinations and become really ill for weeks so it puts some parents off into not continuing any more.The health visitors persist they are done but if baby is allergic to any ingredient speak to your doctor for more advice before stopping any further injections altogether.
swimming baby can you really teach babies to swim watch this
Yes babies under 2 year old can be taught to swim. just below is a video clip on a baby swimming you will be fascinated watching it and here are some ways you can give your baby an early start too following our top 5 tips on getting used to water.
- contact your local swimming pool for mums and toddler sessions go regularly not just twice a year.
- go swimming as a family to help build baby’s confidence in the water,keep sessions short approx 30 mins.
- always make sure baby as a swim nappy on, not just a nappy for the water.swim vests are better than cheap armbands as they irritate under the armpits.
- have a towel handy near the pool edge to dry baby’s eyes if someone jumps in and splashes baby accidentally.
so you think you want a baby and you’ve just left school this Summer?
here are 5 things you wont be able to do when you get pregnant at 16 and you want to raise a baby on your own.
- You wont be able to go out with your mates just like that,baby sitters aren’t always on tap so to speak, a baby will rely on you to meet all its basic needs for the next 18 years.You feed it ,You clean it, You buy its clothes,You look after it with sick and diarrhea that baby’s get from time to time.
- You can’t leave a baby on your own whilst you go to the pub or shops.
- You can’t leave it alone for the weekend if you plan a weekend away with your new boyfriend.
- You are responsible in making sure your child comes first not second,that means not buying booze or drugs first to get a fix instead of buying baby food formula or food for your baby.
- You wont be able to get a council house just like that just because you have a baby.
No sex means no baby so stay away from it until you are ready as parents to raise a child together for keeps.
Want a laugh? you will when you see this video just below looking at what makes babies laugh? after watching the clip, tell us your funny moments when your baby wouldn’t stop laughing by leaving a comment just below this post.
babies start to laugh from 6 months they love rough and tumble games .sometimes will giggle when you tickle them just under the arm pits as they approach 1 year old.Babies make you laugh have a video camera or a phone to hand to capture these precious moments like this family did watch the clip now
what words can you write on a baby gravestone
this blog post contains sad news about baby loss if it is likely to offend please press your back button now.
A popular question often asked us, is what can you write on a baby headstone in the graveyard.
first look at the size of the headstone, speak to the funeral director or stone mason that will be dealing with the writing to see how many letter/numeral characters it will hold. Will there need to be space added if its a family stone for future generations ?. if not usually the first 80 characters are free then they charge for the remainder and or etching drawn on the side etc you may also want to add the date of birth /death etc too determined on space available..
Write done on paper what you prefer play around with words and titles until you reach the amount of characters to see if it looks suitable .once its done by the stone mason it cannot be changed as it will be permanent .
Depending on when baby passed away you may want to consider these 3 options it for …
- section A for babies that passed away early on in the womb .
- section B for babies that passed away due to stillbirth.
- section C for babies that passed away within the first year of life.
here are some suggestions of what to write on a baby gravestone or baby headstone that are appropriate for the age that baby passed away at.
- Now apart yet forever in our hearts,sadly missed heavens kiss.Good night precious baby.
- precious love and memories kept forever , our little one born sleeping.
- just a little visit given, now with God upstairs in heaven.Missing you forever, goodnight precious baby.
- born to soon, sleeping with the angels , Goodnight God bless our baby.
- In loving memory of our precious angel born asleep.
- Born sleeping in tender, sadly missed forever.
- love that stays forever Our precious baby never forgotten.
- cherished every moment of you gone too son precious baby.
- Born asleep, yet your love we keep, thinking of you always xx.
- Our Baby born sleeping, a twinkling star in heavens rest.
- A hug, a kiss, in heavens bliss, gone too soon Our baby.
- Goodnight sweet baby forever sleeping.
- sadly missed a hug and a kiss our baby in our hearts forever.
- treasured memories of a little life, so precious and loved by all. baby name … etc
- Cherished memories of our lovable son goodnight little baby.
- deeply missed asleep with the angels, now at Rest, Goodnight God bless.
- In loving memory of our baby girl now in peace sweet dreams.
So you’ve got loads of kids and they keep nagging you for a dog.The youngest is one year old so what do you do? here are 6 facts about babies and children you need to consider before you get a dog.
- babies crawling will climb on a dogs back.
- babies will bite the dogs ears.
- kids will plead with you to take the dog out on their own are they really old enough? is the dog you are considering too big for them to control ?
- Kids will leave the gates open to the garden you cant scream at them so a dog wont escape. You will be liable if a car has an accident caused by your dog escaping.
- your kids friends will come round to play, a dog that doesn’t go out a lot mixing with other dogs,children and adults will protect your family and will bite other children to protect yours.You can be prosecuted and the dog destroyed for keeping a dangerous dog
- Children get bored easily they wont want to look after the dog by themselves if it poos in the garden it will be up to you to clean it up.
In last weeks news the national curriculum in UK schools is changing. Seeing more teens not coping when they leave school in their own flats or lodging with friends at college do you think more changes should be made to the national curriculum to reflect social skills for their lives for their future?
There’s always been issues about teen pregnancies but what about life skills should these be added ? what do you think here are some taster examples that could go on the list can you think of any others leave a comment just below to air your own views on the subject.
- How to pay bills and what bills need paying when you have your own place.
- How to use a washing machine.
- What jobs need doing inside the home to keep it clean.
- How to decorate.
- How to maintain a safe garden what jobs need doing regular, how to mow a lawn.
This blog post contains sad news about baby loss if it is likely to cause any upset please press your back button now.
(NO REAL BABIES WERE USED IN ANY PHOTOSHOOTS JUST REBORN DOLLS FOR SIZING PURPOSES)
one popular question that we get asked is “can a premature baby have a funeral service that passed away.Times have changed now on the sad occasion that if a baby is born asleep born stillborn also known as a stillbirth for babies born after reaching 24 completed weeks of pregnancy.The Births and Deaths Registration Act of 1926 was introduced to provide stronger safeguards against the concealment of crime in relation to the disposal of the dead. This however means a death certificate is issued so baby is considered to have a legal existence for a funeral service.
Babies born under 24 weeks that have passed away in the womb do not get a death certificate of which many families are trying to get the laws changed. babies under 24 weeks still need a dignified send off and the parents have the right to keep baby no matter what stage mums pregnancy reached its just that baby will be born smaller and dainty weighing a lot less than a full term infant The hospital have no rights to keep the baby themselves.Babies under 24 weeks born due to a miscarriage can still have a funeral service arranged by the family no matter what stage mums pregnancy ended at .
Something Precious have all you need to dress babies born under 24 weeks that sadly died .here is a short video of how Something Precious can help your family member in a time of need.
(this blog post contains sensitive information about baby loss, if it is likely to cause any upset please press your back button now.)
for some families a miscarriage happens in the second trimester.If mum didn’t get to find out the sex of baby or baby was too small to determine if it was a girl or a boy you may feel its still important to name your baby. even if he or she was born sleeping but very very small baby did exist if only for a short while. Babies under 24 weeks gestation do not get a death certificate yet until the UK laws are changed.
So here are some ideas of unisex baby names for very early baby’s born asleep due to pregnancy loss at 20 weeks or under.
feel free to save on your computer so you can y decide in your own time your baby’s special chosen unisex name.
- Aarya Unisex name means :Prayer
- Abida Unisex name means : Gods Follower
- Adina Unisex name means : Slender
- Akshara Unisex name means :Unchangeable
- Amarah Unisex name Gods Grace
- Anusha Unisex name means : Beautiful Sky
- Blythe Unisex name means : Joyful
- Eden Unisex name means :Place of pleasure
- Esme Unisex name means : Loved
- Hira Unisex name means : Diamond
- Izzy Unisex name means :Promised of God
- Jaylan Unisex name means :Calm
- Kai Unisex name means :Rejoice
- Kazumi Unisex name means :Beautiful Harmony
- Kiran Unisex name means : Beam of Light
This blog posts look at the sad loss of a baby and miscarriage if it is likely to cause any upset please press your back button now.
Q. Dear Cheeky Chums please can you help I’m so jealous I don’t know what to do My sister is pregnant and due soon I recently lost mine half through my pregnancy a miscarriage How do I face her ? I hate it ? how am I going to be able cope now I’ve lost my baby seeing her again with her new baby ?
A. We are so sorry for your loss even though it was a miscarriage we acknowledge even though your baby was small, it was still a baby no matter what stage you delivered her at.
gradually look through baby magazines, look at newborn babies, go shopping where you know there will be mums shopping for baby stuff,It wont heal the pain but it will help you cope seeing another pregnant woman on your own terms, you can always come out of a shop if you feel uncomfortable.You will then be used to seeing a pregnant woman before seeing your sister.
look at it from a totally different point of view, The baby! how wonderful to have an aunty like you strong and courageous full of love for other babies even in the sad circumstances of loosing your precious little one.
You can spend time telling it all about your family history being an aunty figure singing songs to it, helping your sister if she needs you, keeping you busy focused on what you can do for them as an amazing aunty.
Say no, stop the hurt don’t ignore the pain.Get help move out you can move on.
You may be in a relationship where you love your partner you think every time you split up due to domestic violence and you end up back together again everything will turn out ok.
Is It really the best thing for your baby or children?
Do you love your partner that much that you think you’ll never have anyone else in the future so you end up together again only for the violence to start all over and over and over again.
What will the end be ? you dead due to a slit throat? what will become of your kids?
Do you not see the hurt its causing them .
What about a screaming child that sees this ? Do you think that this is normal behaviour? do you think your kids will learn from it? do you think your kids will be just like them when they grow older?
Or are you so in love with your partner that nothing else matters not even your kids at t he end of the day.
Something to think about
Imagine your 2 year old telling you some home truths… something like this
“please daddy go away, don’t hurt my mummy again today. The hurt the pain I see it all the kick, the punch her head bashed in the wall a bleeding lip a bruise on her head when i wake up mummy will you be found dead”.
baby boy 6 month old ….I scream, I cry, I cant get to sleep I dream’t that My mummy wouldn’t wake up today to get me my milk as she really gone away .The noise was too much stop, stop, it hurts it hurts then a blast of a sound I heard very loud,from the gun, my mummy is dead my daddy he shot her right here near my bed.The blood trickled down at the side of her head goodnight dear mummy now I know you are dead.
3 year old…
Ive wet the bed again tonight, the screams the shouting it gives me such a fright.I wake up sweating Oh when will it end my mummy’s boyfriend is here yet again.Does she really love me is this what we do to cause so much hurt oh what can I do. I know ill go and live with my nan who gives me a cuddle and breakfast with jam.She smiles at me as we go to the zoo yet mummy seems to say go off and play when Ive nothing to do she loves her boyfriend more than me and my brother and will keep her dear boyfriend by having another.
you do not have to stay in a relationship that there is violence here is help click the link just below.
Today we look at some of the terminology associated with a baby’s death either in the womb whilst mum- to- be is pregnant of after delivery.pregnancy loss Miscarriage stillbirth fetal demise termination abortion stillborn
sometimes in pregnancy when a mum has her 20 week scan the results may reveal a slight abnormality with the baby if baby may not survive in the long term an abortion also known as a termination is offered by the medical staff. This news puts parents on the spot there and then to make a decision that has really been made for them that shouldn’t have.You do not have to have one if the prognosis isn’t good.Even if the clinical staff want to advise you its for the best! It would be far better for baby to die naturally at birth in the loving arms of a parent than to be physically torn from the womb.
Abortion: the deliberate termination of pregnancy by the removal or expulsion from the uterus the baby in the womb prior to viability.
miscarriage this usually happens in the first trimester due to being something wrong at the embryo stage with the baby.A miscarriage can happen later too before 24 weeks gestational age a pregnancy loss.
Miscarriage: early fetal loss An unsuccessful outcome before the growing baby is able to survive independently outside the womb. happens either spontaneously or as the result of accident.The pregnancy comes are from the womb,the woman is no longer pregnant.
Stillbirth sometimes there isnt an answer to why baby was born a stillbirth. It could be due a shoulder displaia or baby thta had a too tight a cord around the neck .
Stillbirth: the delivery of baby that had passed 24 weeks into pregnancy but passed away in the womb or during birth.
Stillborn: the baby that has been born dead.
Fetal demise:no heart beat,often detected during a scan can reveal a fetal loss, when a growing baby in the early -middle stages of pregnancy has died in the womb.
Pregnancy loss : the woman is no longer pregnant because the baby had died in the womb.
Ectopic pregnancy ectopic pregnancies are not usually very rare effecting in every 100 pregnancies they are dangerous for the mother, since internal bleeding is a life-threatening complication. the growing early embryo implants itself in the fallopian tube instead of the uterus wall lining.
This week we are focusing on Debt and managing money better for a family so today we look at hiding debt letters .
Here in the UK there are some bills that can spiral out of control before you know it.mainly its when you ignore a bill so many times and don’t make regular payments that the letters turn from a small amount to a huge debt in a matter of no time.
Bills such s Rent council tax and Tv license are the worst type of debts because if not paid they take you to court even if you don’t show up.
In most cases it’s because you are hiding the debt letters and the amount cannot be reduced because court costs will be added making the debt even bigger.Hiding debt letters can make you lose your home and or face jail.
With young children the stress levels go up and you end up shouting at the kids which isn’t fair on them.Imagine having a bailiff come round to see what furniture you have so they can sell it to pay off your debt. Imagine having the bailiffs seize your kids beds to pay the debt off. If you do not sort out letters before it goes to court these are the next steps that will happen.
A bailiff is an appointed person that can enter your home and take your goods to clear the debt owed by you or your partner. if you love your kids so much there is a way of escape. To face debt problems head on tackling the fear head on and being a strong person instead of the cowards way out ignoring debt!.
taking the step tomorrow we look at getting help without more stress added onto you