A new grandparent can be a good source of help when the right advice and enough support is given.However many families fall out because what a grandma forgets is that its not her baby but that its only a grandchild.
Lets look at how some overhelping hands from an eager grandparent that can turn into an argument.
Nanna takes charge!
“This is the way you get the baby’s wind up Carol”,
Taking baby straight from mum and showing her.This is no way to get respect, you aren’t even giving her the chance.
Alternative way is “Carol if you find it hard just gives us a yell and ill have a go for you”.Notice the grandparent remians unobtrusive in her approach, a much better way.
Mum takes baby in pram into a coldback garden to rock her to sleep without any blanket on.
Nanny Takes charge!
“Carol get that baby a blanket on.Carol do it now before she catches cold”
Alternative way Nanna could always ask “did the health visitor give you guidelines for keeping baby warm without putting too many blankets on”.oh she hasnt got one shall i fetch you one at least to keep the chill off her.This way she is asking for approval before getting a blanket. This way makes mum think is baby warm enough without being nagged at by nanna.
Being a good grandparent the easy way without causing friction, in just 7 easy steps.
- Give the new mum sound advice about a newborn grandchild without seeming to be interfering.
- Don’t offer to show her how to old her newborn baby let mum learn for herself.
- Don’t take over if the dad wants a try his hand at bathing the newbaby etc it will knock his self confidence.
- Offer to do chores at her house whilst she tends to the baby, but offer to take over caring for the little one if she wants to take a nap.
- Remember don’t get carried away by being to fussy,wanting to take over as the mother figure is not good, its her newborn baby after all.
- Be there at the end of the phone when she needs to ask you what to do, but don’t rush over and take over. Being a new mum is also about learning to do things your self but with good support from family.
- Offer your baby sitting services once in a while ie send her a greeting card with voucher for 2 baby sitting nights in.