stillbirth baby miscarriage no naked stillborn babies please midwifes plea
ill never forget the midwifes plea .. “i never again want to pass a stillborn baby naked on a on a tray to parents again, please help.” way back in the 1960s if a baby passed away its was common practise for the stillborn baby to be whisked away after delivery and mum was told to get on with life. Not a glance at her child,never to be held. such harsh treatment. 30 years later mums did not ever get over it especially how baby bereavement was handled at the maternity hospital.
way back in 2007 cheeky chums offered crisp white outfits and soothing pastel shade clothes to dress a baby that sadly passed away in the most tiny of sizes . the handling of a baby bereavement has come along way since the 1960s and hospitals treat mums with a lot more respect and sensitivity to the baby and family now.
you can hold your baby after a miscarriage,you can hold your baby after birth,you can have family cuddles and a private area together to say goodbyes to your baby.you can bath and dress your baby too ready for a funeral or cremation service.
in 2016 Cheeky Chums now offer every item of clothing to dress a baby born stillborn from top to toe and in the most adorable cute baby prints ever.sizes are the smallest in the world. too take a look at just a few outfits hand made in the UK.
DANGEROUS Is NHS children’s hospital doing more harm than good
a sick toddler goes to a local emergency hospital to have fingers sewn back on.
due to the serious nature is rushed over to another a long ride away that is especially for sick children for urgent treatment. on arrival its so busy, they can only operate the day after yet rubbish is left in the cubicle from other patients and a tea towel covered in blood left too. with hospitals closing nhs funds cut all the time.what price does it come to the health of a child. dirt causes germs, germs cause infections you go to hospital so you don’t get infections yet to find dirty cubicles isn’t this doing more harm to our children than good you decide !
Should i put a teddy in casket baby loss my son was stillborn at 23 weeks?
I don’t want to feel stupid but do you think he’d be lonely in the coffin on his own ?
adding a few personal items to your baby’s coffin is a lovely idea to keep baby company on his way to heaven above. the tiny teddy bears will sit next to him you could write a poem of love to take with him cover him in a blanket made by a family member and also add a colouring picture from a brother or sister and a family photograph too so he will always remember you all.
you could dress him in his own little outfit and keep one in his memory box at home to look back for fond memories he had on this earth.
Angel babies anniversary how to pay tribute honouring baby’s memory
5 ways you can pay tribute to your baby’s loving memory on an anniversary after baby sadly passed away.
- writing a song or poem about your baby and putting it on the mantelpiece.
- sending the family a card thinking of you on this sad day
- make a video of baby’s brief life and post it on you tube include scan pictures photos of baby bump etc.
- set up a Pinterest account in honour of baby’s name add photos family photos nice walks pics of the wooded areas baby animals etc that you think baby would enjoy to see if he or she was still here.
- add baby’s name on the gone too soon website a memorial page for babies that died so young.
puke ! babies gastric feeding tube premature baby
cant watch don’t watch as your premature baby has a gastric tube fitted.
the very thought of it could make you feel sick sometimes.so why does a premature baby need one in the first place , well the sucking reflex in premature babies only matures during the last few weeks of pregnancy. your baby will need nutrients so the nicu nurse will put a tube up the nose into the stomach, nowadays the nicu nurse will use a syringe and pull back the syringe a milk is added to make sure its aligned correctly in the stomach, then regular small all amounts of baby milk or breast milk will be added through a syringe and into the tube. as baby gets ready to go home bottle or breast feeding starts by alternating tube with bottle then bottle only or breast only until the baby manages to take the same amount of milk . the tube is removed then if baby manages to take all or most of the milk voila the tube can be removed altogether and your premature is one step closer to going home.
Terrible my infant died at birth when do you move on after baby loss.
being a baby bereavement specialist we come across many families in the same position who have lost an infant both at birth or a mid through pregnancy. here are some comments families have quoted, to show you are not alone in the world.
- when do you get over baby loss? you learn to deal with it day by day.
- you miss your baby every day if it takes forever then that’s allowed.
- you never get over it but find different ways to cope as time goes on.
- its hard even 14 years later but feels less raw.
plus here some good sites you can follow up for baby loss support
children pack it in they wont listen is my marriage doomed 4 kids are naughty
so you have 4 children you husband works nights and you are left holding the reigns during the day. your husband makes excuses and goes of at the soonest opportunity just to escape the naughty kids. is your marriage doomed lets have a closer look at what could be causing them to be naughty. kids thrive on attention they will be naughty to get it even if you smack them they won the battle, but your frustration seems to be daunting as they don’t seem to listen.the other kids will copy each other and if husband disappears a lot because by the sounds of it he too isn’t there when most needed.so they play up for mum and dad tries so hard at work its often tiring to discipline when he is home. he may feel like I’m the bad guy here I have to shout at them to make them behave but it doesn’t seem to be working and both adults will be stressed.he loves his kids but its an easier life to escape the hassle. so you both need to talk and I mean talk to each other, find time for each other but also to listen to each other, listening is the big issue here no one is to blame but you both have to come up with the same plans to keep the kids from doing your head in.
heres what you can do to give you self a break…
there are 2 parents different roles but both pull together for the tough stuff. its not easy if you have a big family, each child wants you to them self and sometimes you think when is there time for you in all this.
ground rules what is it that the child is doing, that is doing your head in ? is it hurting a brother or sister? then you discipline it or is it kicking a ball at the wall out side over and over again. can you take them out to get some physical activity as a family have fun.
the more fun you have the more you will want to spend it with the children.
do you give in to them asking you for things over and over and over again until you give in just for 5 mins peace? No! nip it in the bud and both of you work together as parents in creating the ground rules if mum says no dad says no, or the kids will run you raggid playing one against the other.
Panic what clothes buy baby grandson in SCBU he’s 3lb
if a premature baby is in the special care baby unit and not on any breathing aides he may only need a feeding tube and to watch his temperature. Each hospital is different in what baby can and can not wear but once he can wear layers you may walk in to find the nurses have dressed him in nursery clothes. Often donated,and as a grandparent you will hate seeing him in borrowed clothes so a trip to cheeky chums online is what’s needed as they stock everything in tiny sizes for premature babies. he’ll wear a vest, baby grow cardigan and possibly a hat (varies per hospital policies) and bibs. you want to buy at least 3 sets of each so they can be washed and taken back to the hospital for clean spares to put in his little cupboard under the cot. He’ll need different items once he can go home such as a coat socks shoes bootees etc.
crazy nappy rash appeared on my 5 month old baby will he die ?
dear cheeky chums my baby has red pin prick dots on his bum its a nappy rash I know that but will he die is it meningitis? is that what it could be there so white patches in his mouth?
sounds like thrush babies can get it its fungal infection this type nappy rash and if untreated can spread down baby’s legs. Nystatin is usually prescribed you can get a minor ailment form, from the chemist in the UK and they will give baby drops for the mouth and cream for the bum. here are 5 other ideas to help it clear up better. usually thrush doesn’t clear up with normal nappy cream such as sudacrem that’s when you can ask your health visitor at the next baby’s weigh in if you suspect it could be thrush.
Meningitis is a rash that doesn’t go away with a glass pressed over it.
scream frustrated weaning my baby 9 month please help
my mother says I shouldn’t be giving my 9 month old baby chips every day as a weaning food I’m getting stuck for ideas what finger foods can I give him now he has moved up from mush.?
here are 11 tips for healthy lifestyle choices for babies using finger foods.
safety first …you will need to supervise children once they have started onto finger foods as a choking hazard in any case.
- strips cucumber
- peeled and cored apple slices
- sliced carrots or in long strips
- juicy pears peeled and cored
- buttered crusts soft bread always use unsalted butter.
- bananas sliced these can be slippy to hold
- cooked parsnips and cooked turnips, suedes in strips
- cooked broccoli and pasta twirls
- cooked cauliflower pasta and cheese slices
- strawberries kiwi and blueberries.
what wording ideas are there to add to a baby’s headstone grave please ?
- Sleeping with the Angels born too soon date birth and date of death.
- our sleeping baby Son Child’s name and dates for example 1/03/16-3/03/16.
- Our darling baby daughter born asleep 20/01/15 good night sleep tight precious child
- Baby (child’s name) Born … Died ….we love you so much and you will be missed forever more .
- Rest your head sleepyhead a cloud for a pillow and the Angels wings will keep you warm. goodnight precious baby child’s name until we meet again.
- Do not weep our child is asleep. baby Childs name …. born … died …..
5 signs its time to ditch your child’s dummy
- your baby has teeth the more teeth your baby or toddler has the more chances the mouth will change shape and speaking will be a problem as they develop more language.
- your 2 year old child will not go anywhere with out the dummy.
- your toddler has more than one dummy at a time in his/her hands.
- your child is older than 3 year old again speech will be unclear and sound lispsy as your child talks and could need speech therapy to correct it, not good.
- your toddler puts 2 or more dummies in their mouth at once.
use a reward chart one sticker one day without the dummy, make a dummy box let your child decorate and let them put the dummy in it at the start of the day to help ditch the dummy addiction.
Huge Dilemma preterm baby ashes funeral do you have them scattered or keep them?
here are 5 ideas you can do after the funeral or cremation service with your baby’s ashes.
- due to the small amount of ashes created after the internment you may only get a very small amount for a preterm baby. you can use a pinch of ashes to add them to a cremation urn necklace to keep close to you forever.
- add them to buy a bear and sit it near your bedside each night.
- add it to a garden urn with a beautiful flowering plant. That way if you move house it can be a carried to another home.
- scatter the ashes at a baby memorial garden were other baby’s are. you don’t get a personal spot in this case its more communal.
- scatter baby’s ashes in your family grave plot you’ll need the grave deeds so your local cemetery knows which number your plot is and you pay a cost to open up the existing grave to add them .
Horrific News baby fetal anomaly scan reveals dead babies
the most dreadful news your worst fears have happened pregnant with twin babies and the baby scan shows no heartbeats , the babies have passed away they are both dead.
are there any comforting words that will make it all go away to face another day ?
the truth is you are not alone. here are some truthful facts other parents have revealed when it to happened to them baby died in the womb or twins died too.
- you just keep living until you feel alive again.
- you just have to keep on keep going.
- the pain doesn’t get better but the strength does as time goes on
- you are not alone in the world with this kind of loss and pain.
- angel mummy’s stick together as we each know each others pain
mother in law tells you to throw the baby’s bottle in the bin what do you do ?
dear Cheeky Chums …ld ignore her if baby was being feed only formula at a young age but when is the right time and ditch the baby bottle and use a sippy cup?
As baby baby starts to get teeth come through start to wean onto a sippy cup. Around 6 moths old,but beware sterilize all parts up to the age of 12 months old. one because mums have been posting pictures and indepth photographs of whats hiding under the sippy cup lid of mold,germs ,dirt residue build up that most certainly is a place for bacteria to breed and will cause stomach upsets for your baby. And two because as your baby learns those first words the teeth can get pushed back making it difficult for your child to talk, the more your baby clings to a bottle the harder it will become to wean them off it.
with that being said 12 months is the time to ditch the bottle as more teeth fill baby’s mouth. more articles on babies here
come on lets have a laugh funny babies in videos online take a look just below
look these babies are funny like our blog post if you agree
baby died at 24 weeks 5 nice memorial gift ideas for the family
showing support for a baby’s family that has sadly died at 24 weeks of pregnancy can be very difficult.one how to say sorry when it doesn’t seem enough, two the awkwardness you may feel in approaching them and three you want to buy them a gift for baby’s funeral but do not know what to choose.
here are some great ideas to show your love and compassion for them at this sad time when their baby died in the womb or shortly after birth.
- a rare to obtain hand made baby bereavement card that can be kept forever in a baby memorial box.
- ordering one of these you will be greatly appreciated by the family by Precious MemoriesTM baby loss jewellery mum can wear this close to heart lovingly forever.
- presenting dad or mum one of these to give to baby a micro or mini teddy bear to keep baby company for the funeral service these are so tiny most will fit in baby’s hand to hold forever. over 26 different ones to pick from.
- buy a star in honour of baby’s name.
- baby memorial bereavement boxes
angel baby pictures photos babies to view online.
Angel babies are often referred to by name because they have passed away and are in heaven above with God ,Jesus and the angels. because of the sensitive nature of this blog post we will include some direct links to pay respect to the angel babies gone too soon.
Please be aware some babies that passed away may vary in skin colour and toning due to how long it has been since they passed away. If baby passed away a few weeks before birth known as a stillbirth for angel babies born asleep after 24 weeks skin breakdown would have started to happen as the natural process of death occurs. Therefore we air on the side of caution before you see any of these photographs and pictures of these precious babies.
terrible twos how to stop my toddler being naughty please i’m desperate.
in todays society we leads such busy lives and a world so full of technology it may be the easiest thing to pass your two year old toddler your mobile phone or tablet to keep them occupied. toddlers under 3 soak up so much information in the brains this is such a valuable time of learning. Each day your toddler may seem naughty but as they try to learn to string words together can often become frustrated in telling you what they want .
here are 5 tips to help you understand your toddlers needs.
- turn your phone of for at least 1 hour day to spend solely with your toddler.
- get down on the floor with them for playtime building blocks having fun knocking them down you are also building relationships and your toddler is having quality time with you.
- teach your toddler sign language so as they are picking up new words daily you can associate a new word with a sign ,your child will easily pick up the sign and will be less frustrated or naughty.
- set boundaries that are age appropriate turning the light off making them sit in the dark is cruelty use 1 min per age in a naughty corner or naughty step as time out so a terrible two would have 2 mins maximum time out.
- ignoring a tantrum if they are kicking out on the floor. if caught as soon as it happens you can often distract them into forgetting that they are having a tantrum.for example getting a book and talking out load saying oh wow this book is good look at the fishes swimming if they see you interested they will come running over to you to see what you are doing.
born tiny newborn babies premature photos real infants
born tiny newborn babies that are poorly or very premature are cared for in a special care baby unit. here are some photos of some premature babies . you may be shocked as you see them with medical aids around them. These can include nasal feeding tubes, oxygen masks, plus intravenous lines too even on the top of baby’s scalp. Its because their little veins in premature babies are very fine. As baby grows very tiny babies need less specialist care in an incubator and eventually will be well enough just to wear full clothes bottle of breast feeding established before going home.
does a premature baby born sleeping 23 weeks of pregnancy loss need a funeral service?
By law babies that have sadly died after 24 weeks of pregnancy have to have a funeral or cremation service in the UK. if your baby was born premature 23 weeks or less you can in deed still have a proper funeral service or even a cremation service.
The family can help with organising a premature baby loss funeral for you if everything seems to be a blur. It can be done through a funeral director working with you for your preferred plans.
what plans need to be made for a premature baby funeral ?
well its things like clothes to dress baby in to feel settled in the baby casket. Its a funeral or cremation service including church venue songs poems who will do a reading there or say a few words on babys brief life. what does the family plan to do with baby’s remains after ? in a family plot scattered with other babies in an unmarked grave or buying a new private plot ? or cremation with ashes kept at home to be buried later date .
do you need to have a funeral for a premature baby loss born before 24 weeks?
In the instance that baby was born premature before 24 weeks and died would not get a death certificate here in the UK. But it doesn’t mean you cannot arrange a funeral or cremation service.
here are some ideas you can do to create a memorial day to celebrate baby’s life however short he or she had with the family.
1. a balloon release immediate family can stand around a remembrance garden and release coloured balloons with helium inside. Write a message to baby in heaven tie it to a balloon.
2. A quiet little brook with a bridge make paper boats let them float on the water and go under the bridge to say a loving farewell.
3. a dove release at a crematorium or graveside they usually read a poem out for you.
4. create a photo video of scan pictures teddy bear etc play with some favourite lullaby music at a quiet family funeral service.
some people talking on facebook about a pregnancy fetal demise so what is it ?
Not referred to as a miscarriage its called a fetal demise when no cardiac activity is detected, usually revealed at a scan appointment because its happened 20 weeks into pregnancy and beyond. Intrauterine fetal demise is the clinical term for the death of a baby in the uterus, during pregnancy and before birth. The term is usually used for pregnancy losses that happen after the 20th week of gestation.
a full document can be read here on fetal demise on prevention causes and care
premature baby clothes ideas please 3lb babies sizes
So many babies wearing the identical supermarket style premature baby clothes where can you turn to for ideas that offer individuality?
plain white sleepsuits boring! popper fastening vests? nope my baby is home now I don’t need the incubator clothes anymore !
so here are some colourful alternatives for babies weighing 3lb
for more designs with choices galore visit the online site here
When your premature baby is allowed home from hospital panic may kick in if you want to go visiting relatives. Will they have a cold? If your premature baby has been ill in hospital they can pick up infections quite easily and you don’t want them to go back in do you. IF in doubt ask before you visit avoid contact with anybody that’s has been ill recently such as sickness bug, chest infections etc.
In winter the weather will likely to get very cold so you can dress baby in a warm snuggly hat and a cosy coat too. for very small sizes you can find them here for girls and here for boys
Unsure what to buy for a baby age 1 year old as a present ?
You could ask the parents but if its a surprise that would be spoilt wouldn’t it so here are 5 ideas to brighten up a little baby’s face.
1. True representation books these are cardboard photo books which present everyday objects a 1 year old recognise, They can identify and learn to speak such as a Fork, Shoe, Puppy, Coat, cake is a great way to learn to repeat and say, understand and go and get.
2. wellington boots great for all weather types keeping socks nice and dry.
3. children song cds, to listen learn singalong to, dance and have fun
4.story books great for bedtime 1 and 1 quiet time for cuddles and bonding with family members.
5.Roleplay toys copying an adult they will often put mummys shoes on and trot around the house tea sets are fab,wooden fruit you can pretend to cut and slice and a big kitchen to make a pie yum.’
I feel really bad by telling my wife you killed our son. She was 34 weeks pregnant a scan revealed our baby son’s death happened whilst he was in the womb. She delivered our baby dead. I hated her for it my first child gone at only 34 weeks into her pregnancy. She ate something bad ? she didn’t sit down for her full pregnancy, I blamed my wife and I shouldn’t have.
It nearly broke us apart whist we waited for him to be delivered. I thought it was her fault alone that my baby son died, but I was wrong a knot in the cord caused his death. I apologised deeply to my wife we clung to each other for support. We joined a local group on Facebook and each day gets better.
Your baby’s first birthday wow how fast has that gone?
You will be so pleased you’ll want to shout it to the whole world. So what did you have in mind to celebrate? A huge party for baby to enjoy? Well if you really want it to be baby appropriate here are 5 tips ideas that wont break the bank balance.
1. depending on the weather ask a few babies to attend from the local playgroup or family members or nursery even to attend a teddy bears picnic, healthy snacks huge blanket ask them to bring a teddy toy and a cute first birthday cake. A large room will suffice move all the furniture on a rainy day.
2.Puppets show daddy’s way get the family all sitting on comfy cushions on the floor get daddy to sing funny songs using baby’s favourite cuddly toys. Acting out a little story for baby to enjoy.
3.Family get together invite close family members video the event opening presents do a light buffet with a great first baby birthday cake take loads a photos for a photo album give each family a picture to keep afterwards.
4.Book day for babies buy loads of books baby related ask a few baby friends over let the babies look at books together having fun ,if you have space in the kitchen,roll out a huge piece of wall paper and using non toxic paints let the babies run and make footprints.
5.take baby out to a safe fun play centre have a birthday cake even ask a few baby friends over, older kids will take over and spoilt it if its just older children who attend.
my 11 month old baby screams too much shall I take him playgroup?
Dear Cheeky Chums my baby keeps having paddies and screams when I leave the room, is it a good thing to get out and take him to a local church playgroup?
It is a good thing to get out and about, a local playgroup for babies and toddlers will work wonders and here’s 5 reasons why you should.
1. you baby will learn to develop valuable social skills with not only adults but its peers and older toddlers too.
2. Your baby will learn to communicate by talking, making sounds developing new sounds and saying first words as her learns to mix and copy other babies at play, plus playgroups sing songs too usually throughout or at the end of a session and are really good fun for you to join in too. Then you can repeat them at home as you get used to new songs rhymes and short stories which in turn will help baby develop even more language skills at home.
3.What a wide variety of new experiences and valuable play lessons he will learn as he picks up and . interesting and many new different toys to explore through play.
4. you too will mix with other parents to share your experiences, tips and exchange ideas with.
5.As he learns to play and find his favourite play toys it will give you a better idea what to buy for the first birthday gift coming up.
A newborn baby gets many gifts and many family members or friends can find it ever so easy to buy that special baby gift. A baby that’s arrived very early or born very premature can be much harder to buy for, seeing most items for babies start from newborn size. So here are 3 great gift ideas that the mum and dad will really appreciate for their tiny baby.the baby may have many more weeks to be cared for in special care and it can be for quite a while yet to concider buying a newborn sized outfit.
a very small teddy bear buy one less than 15cm in height this is the first great gift idea for a premature baby, it can sit beside the incubator keeping baby company yet the size will not be too overpowering sitting near by.
gift idea number 2 is a premature baby hat in funky colours sizes at cheeky chums online start from 12cm wow that’s tiny.gift idea 3 a preemie milestone book that mum or dad can tick off as baby gets one step closer to coming home.
keeping baby safe and happy 3-6 months playtime
So your baby is growing becoming more interested in his or her surroundings and wanting to explore. What play time activities do you think they will enjoy patting your tablet or mobile phone?
Today we look at 5 easy play ideas that keep baby safe, happy, amused and exploring the big wide world around him,which too will help to encourage brain growth and reach the next developmental milestones.
- Hold baby on your knee,looking at you sitting facing you.recognizing both of you as you can take it in turns singing nursery songs with repetitive rhyme.
- laying on a blanket on the floor touch and feel soft cuddly toys and toys that jingle as they are touched.
- Sitting in a bouncy chair with rattle toys across the front.
- Supported with cushions for back support Holding a rag toy book with crinkles squeaks and different fabrics.
- Lying in a cot with a musical cot mobile over head.
Pregnancy loss Miscarriage 1st trimester is there a funeral for baby?
Most miscarriages in the 1st trimester can be lost as a mum goes to the toilet and fluid, blood loss and tissue can easily be flushed away by accident down the loo. Its then only after a scan that it can be noticed that baby is no longer in the womb growing.
In the UK A funeral can take place for any gestational age with some tissue samples buried as a recognition of baby’s loss.The institute of cemetary and cremation management will also cremate remains in a private plot or shared plot and encourages sensitive disposal irrespective of gestation period see the attached recommendation leaflet for more detail
By law in the UK There has to be a cremation or funeral with a death certificate for babies born after 24 weeks completed gestation age of pregnancy.Any pregnancy loss can have a funeral service or memorial service if the family request it .
A Premature baby does not need shoes. Parents and family members may like to purchase soft cotton shoes or booties but not hard wearing walking shoes. You wont find shoes for premature babies like 1 year old babies wear. the skin of a premature baby is very fragile and therefore it is best to dress in socks and booties to go out in the pram once home from hospital and in the car seat visiting family and friends. Do not be tempted to buy tight fitting patent doll shoes or leather dolls shoes .The last thing you want is be the cause of damaging tender feet of a premature baby just to be in with the latest fashions.
here are some examples of premature baby soft shoes and booties
Tiny Baby bereavement clothes My Passion My story
Way back in 2007 a lady came into our shop and asked if we had any baby clothes for a 2lb baby (a tiny family member that had sadly passed away). At the time we even stocked dolls clothes and we didn’t have anything to offer. I watched as the rest of the family came in to browse through the small baby clothes but they had to leave empty handed.
That image never left me, the sadness on their faces as they left with nothing, our shop was the last one they tried.. So I said I would make sure no one would ever leave without having suitable tiny baby clothes to fit,especially for the sad occasion that a tiny baby sadly passes away.
Gradually having l found there was no baby clothes to fit these very tiny precious babies. I learned to sew.Way back then we made baby clothes for babies 1lb,2lb,3lb in weight. What I found was babies under 24 weeks had nothing to wear. A midwife rang me and said she will never forget the horror of passing a tiny baby born sleeping to mum on a tray because there was nothing else suitable.
Now in 2013 our range is the biggest in the UK for baby bereavement clothes for very tiny babies, even for the little ones born under 24 weeks of pregnancy. We even have tiny teddy bears from 3cm in length that will fit perfectly into the tiny hand of a baby to treasure forever.
Opening until 11pm at night so parents can order anytime. 24 hour ordering on the internet with special delivery options for a quicker dispatch. We also provide to hospitals throughout the UK and Europe .
Our bereavement department can be found at http://cheekychumsonline.co.uk/category_60/Tiny-Baby-Bereavement-ClothesGifts.htm
For most children, their first experience with grief comes with the death of a beloved family pet. When Zoe the eight-week old puppy dies of parvovirus or Tweety the budgie stops singing his morning song, a child experiences profound and lasting loss for the first time in their young lives.
Children want and need to know about death, yet we are often reluctant ? even squeamish ? when talking about it. Conversations with kids about death can be extremely difficult, but they are so important. Helping children understand the death of their pet may arm them with the skills they need to cope and grieve effectively when someone they love dies. Everyone experiences a sense of shock when death occurs, and this is especially true for children. They have no prior experience, and usually no information to help them comprehend what “dead forever” means.
Death and grief are extremely difficult human emotions, therefore, there is no right or wrong way to deal with death. As adults, our reactions to death are a product of societal attitudes and the beliefs and culture of the family from which we came.
When a family member dies, children express their grief differently depending on their age. An infant may become irritable and fussy. A pre-schooler lives in a magical world, so death isn?t permanent for them. They may alternate between seeing death as temporary and reversible to understanding that death is forever. Children ages six to 12 have a more mature understanding of death and teenagers have an adult understanding of death, but has fewer coping skills.
Let?s look at Justin?s first experience with death:
Justin?s is 5 years old and lives with his mom and dad and brand new sister Sarah. One morning, Justin wakes up to mom?s tears and runs to Sarah?s room to find mommy and daddy crying. Daddy ushers Justin out of the room and tells him quietly that Sarah isn?t going to wake up today.
Justin is scared and confused. Justin has never seen Daddy cry. Dad is his hero. He makes Justin feel safe. What could be so horrible that it would make Daddy cry? Daddy spends the morning talking to Justin while mom and Grandma Jane go in and out of the house, crying and Sarah is taken away by strange people that Justin does not know.
After lunch, Justin goes to Sarah?s room to look for her. They always take an afternoon nap together. But Sarah isn?t there. ?When will Sarah be home?? Justin asks his daddy. Daddy holds Justin as he tells him ?Sarah won?t be coming home, honey, Sarah has died. She stopped breathing and her heart stopped beating. We?re all so very sad. Why don?t we sit together and remember some of the funny things she used to do.? Justin turns his blue eyes to look at Daddy ?No, it?s okay Daddy. She?ll be home later.?
As the days go on from the time of Sarah?s death, mom and dad are caught up in funeral preparations and Justin continues in his insistence that his sister will come home. As family gathers and the days get closer to the services his parents remain with growing concern for his belief.
Parents should be aware of normal childhood responses to a death in the family. It is normal during the weeks following the death for some children to feel immediate grief or persist in the belief that the family member is still alive. But long-term denial of the death or avoidance of grief is unhealthy and can later surface in more severe problems. Once children accept the death, they are likely to display their feelings of sadness on and off over a long period of time, and often at unexpected moments. The surviving relatives should spend as much time as possible with the child, making it clear that the child has permission to show his or her feelings openly or freely.
Parents with children experiencing grief should: ? Provide age-appropriate information regarding the loss ? Give the child space for them to emote. (Encouragement to discuss his or her innermost fantasies, fears, thoughts, and feelings.) ? Be aware of their own emotional availability: Your child needs someone who will listen. Reach our for support from others if you are unable to provide that support to your child at this time.
Have you thought about teaching your child swimming yourself? Here are Pros & Cons to consider before making this decision.
I am a very strong proponent of structured group swim lessons. I do not have children myself, but have encouraged all my siblings & friends to enroll their children in swim lessons. I have had my own nieces & nephews in my group lessons and have never given any private lessons. With this said I do understand that only parents know what is best for their child, so I will give the pros & cons of both sides of this question & leave it to you to decide what is best.
Structured swim lessons
Authoritative figure that the child will listen to
Group setting – child not always center of attention
Good “peer pressure”
Safe Setting with Trained Guards
Health Issues – Allergic to chlorine/ beach water
Teaching Swim Lesson Yourself
Great Existing Relationship for Teacher/Student
Knowledge of Child’s Learning Methods
Child too Comfortable/ May Not Listen
Lacking Water Site & Teaching Tools
Inexperience in Teaching Swimming
I hope the info above helps you weigh your swim lessons options for your child. Though it can be difficult to “unteach” some learned swim skills there is always the option of enrolling your child in lessons if your individual instruction did not produce the desired results. No matter which decision you make, having your child learning to swim is always a Win – Win situation.
Andy Murray is the founder of http://www.SwimLessonInfo.com , as well as a Red Cross certified swim instructor. He has been teaching swim lessons for 15 years and coaching youth swim team for more then 5 years.
for those of you who love to make your baby’s own meals or do a lot of home cooking here are 5 meal ideas for the Winter weather to keep you all warm and less hungry.
- pea and ham soup with crusty home made bread rolls add cooked potatoes to thicken soup too.
- rich strew use Atora suet light to make low fat dumplings with stewing beef, carrots and suede, parsnips add 2 beef oxo cubes thicken with cornflour and serve with jacket potatoes.
- pasta with cooked broccoli and cauliflower and cheese sauce mix all together and serve with breadcrumbs on top in a pie dish.
- fish pie add cod pieces, prawns salmon pieces add a parsley sauce mix,with mashed potatoes on top serve with mixed vegetables.
- bish bash bosh chicken ,add cooked chicken, sweetcorn, mushrooms with a tin of mushroom or use chicken soup put in a pie dish add a pastry crust bake in oven serve with potatoe wedges.
Children have amazing and wild imaginations. The next time you hear “I’m bored in the Winter time” or “What can we do”, give them a few household items, or let them make their own and watch them expand into endless hours of fun and entertainment. The following are just a few ideas to get the fun started and be sure to use your imagination too!
—>Make an Obstacle Course Obstacle courses can be a lot of fun, spark creativity and also be great exercise for the little ones. These can be set up in and out of doors. Pillows, chairs, tires and stools are just a couple of things that can be used to be climbed, jumped and skipped over, through, around and under. Time each child as they scramble their way through and have a race. Best thing about these is that once they’ve done everything they can think of with the first one, it can be torn down and set up again another way. Have each child take turns in choosing the way it’s set back up.
—>Let’s Play Dress Up Don’t give away all those old shoes, shirts, pants, hats, gloves and costume jewelry! Set aside a special drawer or box for these item to play dress up. Have children act out their favorite play, television show or put on a fashion show. You’d be surprised exactly how cute she really looks in your old high school prom gown. Be sure to take snap shots or keep the video camera rolling!
—>Kid’s Cafe set up a small table and let the children play restaurant. Have children make up or use play money and menus. Children that can’t write yet can draw the food items on the menus. Give them some paper plates, cups, plastic silverware, a little notebook and they’re open for business. Take turns being waiter, customer and busboy (or girl ).
—>Go Camping This too can be played in or out of doors and the possibilities are endless. If you have a smaller pop-up tent, it can be set up in the living room. If you’re taking this activity outdoors, you can hang an old sheet over a clothesline securing with rocks at the bottom. Have children draw or cut out windows if you’re using an old sheet. (Remember to keep for the next camping trip.) Set up some lawn chairs around your faux fire and tell stories, sing songs, make smores in the microwave or any other favorite camping activity. Go all the way and sleep there tonight!
Children who witnesses domestic violence against his or her parent is a victim of domestic violence as well. Approximately five million children witness domestic violence in their homes each year. A child may be a witness to his or her parent being emotionally abused, physically abused, economically abused and/or even sexually abused.
No matter how hard a parent tries to shield their child from the abuse he or she receives from an abusive partner, the child usually knows what is occurring. Even a young infant can tune into the tension and emotional feelings of his or her mother.
Most children will experience problems if they live in a violent home and witness a parent being abused. Children who witness abuse are more inclined to have behavior and emotional problems. Some children will develop psychosomatic disorders. This may include bed-wetting, school problems, night terrors, stuttering, excessive fear and crying. Children may experience depression, suicidal behaviors and phobias if they are kept in a violent household.
Older children may blame themselves for the abuse a parent receives. Older children may even step into the abuse to direct the attention onto themselves and off of the battered parent. There is a great risk that children who witness abuse may grow up thinking that violence is the only means to resolve emotional and relationship conflicts. Boys who grow up in an abusive home are more likely to batter their future partners versus boys who grow up in a nonviolent home. Children who have witnessed abuse to a parent are also more likely to drink alcohol and abuse drugs.
Children who live in a domestically violent home will suffer some form of neglect, be it physical or emotional. It isn’t always just the mother who is abused, but the children may be abused as well. Many adults who were abused when they were children report that witnessing the abuse to their mother was harder for them to deal with then the abuse they personally received.
Early Infant pregnancy loss information
this blog post contains information about infant loss if it is likely to cause any upset please press your back button now.
Over the last few weeks we have been adding some new valuable information on tiny infant loss such as baby funeral planning, baby bereavement card poems causes of an infant fetal demises etc.There is a lot of information covered ,useful facts including what happens if you have a miscarriage at home and the UK laws on burying a premature baby etc. and more related topics will be covered over the next few weeks
you can also type in the search box the baby bereavement website as an alternative way to see other information such as support groups for infant loss,funeral songs ideas list UK funeral directors and lots more.main website address is http://baby-burial-gowns.co.uk
Baby Maternity Unit for poorly premature babies
as today is premature baby awareness day we thought you may like to see some preemie babies and how very tiny they are,if the are delivered early before 37 weeks which is classed as premature. you can follow our Pinterest boards as we regularly add photos of premature babies born at 22-24 weeks 25-28 weeks 29-30 weeks -32-35 weeks 35-37 weeks gestation and there are also a lot of contact sites you can add yourself you to have a premature baby.
what a nuisance babies at play 0 – 6 months baby toys
How many teddies can you pile up into a baby’s bedroom?
well if you think of a family member buying a present a cute teddy is often the first thing that comes to mind when deciding what toys to buy the new baby. before long baby can have tons all collecting dust that often can be a problem with some babies getting asthma from a very young age. So what other baby toys can you buy for babies around the 0-6 months age.
well here are a few pointers these suggestions will be good for encouraging baby development milestones , appropriate age of learning toys,toys that wont get thrown away due to lost pieces or a toys that are good value without being a waste of money.
- teething rings,small rattles that a baby can learn to grasp in the hand, from around 4 months ,mouthing takes place too when a child will put anything to its mouth to explore the texture, do not discourage this behavior its natural part of development unless another child as given a dangerous item for the baby to hold toddlers especially.
- Brightly coloured pram toys that stretch across the pram with various sounds such as musical,squeaks,rattles,crinkle sounds.
- musical toys for over babies cot that pull to activate music,cot mobiles.
2 methods one is letting baby tell you when it needs moving onto solids for example instead of weaning at 4 months wait until baby seems really hungry and ready to move on. do not leave weaning baby way after 6 months or baby will have problems weaning from liquid-semi liquid to lumpy foods in the long term.
the other method of baby lead weaning is waiting until baby is 6 months old and giving huge pieces of food direct to eat such as a pork chop, piece ,half a banana a chunky crust of bread to chomp on. this method cuts out the mush type foods completley.
personally i think the first method is best as i have seen too many babies at 9-12 months choke of chunks of raw apple carrot etc.